How to Figure Out The Direction of Your Life?

We all have our own version of this question: What should I do with my life? Where is my life going? What do you want to be when you grow up? Which career/college should I choose? Where to move? Most of us answer it with: "I don't know." "I don't know what to do with my life". "I don't know which direction should I go". " I don't know which job/career/college to choose" and so on...

I remember  when I was still in college I was complaining to my grandmother that I didn't know what I wanted to do after college and what should I do with my life. My grandmother answered- " I don't know what to do with my life either".

We want to know answers to these questions so we could make correct decisions as options come along. I didn't really grasp the truth in my grandmother's words until very recently. That truth is - You don't need to know!

Wait! What? What about all the vision, the values, the goals, the planning we talk so much about in coaching?

Yes, all that is very important. But you don't just wake up one day knowing what you should do in your life, or trying to "figure out" where your life should be going by sitting on the couch. It takes self-work, dedication, visioning, planning, and most of all - it takes time.

I like to compare our lives to a puzzle. The life's vision is the image of a puzzle you are choosing at the store. What picture speaks to you? An image of nature? Animals? People or things? How many pieces would your puzzle have? Some of us like easy ones that do not contain too many parts and can be put together quickly without much effort. Others like big challenging ones with hundreds or even thousands of pieces and take their time putting it together. Most of us, however, like something in between - a quality effort with enough challenge to keep us moving forward.

Now that you have the picture it is time for planning. A plan is your approach, a strategy of how you will build your puzzle. Will you start from the corner? Or build the frame around it and go from there? Will you start in one area first then move to another connecting them along the way as you find the correct pieces?

As we build our puzzle we don't have a clear view of what our complete picture will look like. We look for needed pieces, connect them one by one as we go through the timely process. Sometimes we cannot find that needed piece and get frustrated with the process. Other times we hit a smooth ride and every piece we pick up fits right away. There are also times when we try to force a piece thinking it's got to be the right one but it just wouldn't go in. But the struggle starts to wane as we approach the end of the process and a picture starts to appear. More and more pieces start to fit in their places and the image - the vision - gives us the feeling of joy, accomplishment and triumph.

So is the process of life. You build your life towards the vision that you created! Each puzzle piece is an experience, an opportunity, a decision you need to make in your life or career. You may not know what the complete picture of your life will look like yet but as you take each opportunity that comes along, make decisions that feel right at the moment, it becomes clearer. Some opportunities may not exactly fit at the moment while others will be exactly what you need them to be. And all of them together will finally fit in to create a complete picture.

As I build my life's puzzle I pick up each puzzle piece and hope it fits. Sometimes it fits perfectly, other times I struggle. But by taking the next piece - the next opportunity, a choice or a decision - I am getting closer to my life's vision.

My grandmother passed away a few years ago. And while her life's puzzle ended up a few pieces short, the image she left behind was the one I will never forget: A portrait of a strong, wise woman with a wonderful sense of community, and a dash of humor, who dedicated her life to serve others, always thinking of others needs first before her own, and building a strong knit family I am proud to be a part of.

I hope my life's picture will look something close to that. I will sure try to build it piece by piece the best I can. Time will show when I get there.

How about you? What will your life's picture going to be? Start by reviewing and reflecting on this past year and see where it takes you next.

*You can read this post in Lithuanian here*