The Power of Meeting Your Needs

We all know that as human beings we have certain needs programmed in our minds and bodies. Some of those needs are being met without us doing a thing (like breathing) while others need our undivided attention (like making sure we have food to eat). Most of the time though, we don't pay much attention to our needs, beyond the basics of food, water and shelter. We inadvertently allow popular culture, advertisements, and the desires of others dictate our “needs”. We may feel like we are doing something tangible and productive towards meeting our needs, whether it's buying a house, climbing career ladder, or having 500+ Facebook friends, we still don't feel satisfied with what we have.

In order to have all our needs fulfilled, we first must recognize which needs are important to us and which ones are just cover ups of unmet personal essentials. Unmet emotional, social or spiritual needs will manifest themselves in ways that don't serve us unless we intentionally satisfy them. The problem is, most of us don't really know what our true deep needs are. While we may know that we have a strong “need” for money, owning a home or that new promotion, what really drives this desire could be a totally unrelated, and unmet, need for power, security or belonging.

The question you have to ask yourself is: “What do I really need?” An honest answer could be one of the most powerful transformation of your life.

What are Your needs?

Take a moment and ask yourself: What are my needs? We are looking for a NEED – not a want, a should, a fantasy or a wish. A need is a MUST for you to be your best. What are your deep hidden desires that you try to meet through everyday patterns? What is your inner voice telling you?

Do you need time for creativity or nature? Do you need love, approval or power? Do you need to serve others to feel your best?

It may be difficult at first to recognize and admit these needs to yourself. But once you discover the needs that drive you, you'll be able not only meet them, but also live an effortless, rewarding and successful life.

Accept your needs for what they are.

You may find that you don't like some of your needs or wish they weren't Your needs. The truth is, you can't change them. You can't fight them. Accept and embrace All your needs, even the ones you don't like. We all have different needs, and will spend our lives trying (consciously or not) to get these needs met. Being real with your needs means being authentic and true to yourself. And most of all, you will better understand the dynamics of needs and start meeting them in ways that fulfill you and bring you joy.

Create a system to get your needs met.

First, remember, that having needs is not being selfish, weak or needy. We usually fall into those patterns when our true needs aren't met. Meeting your needs is about communicating, establishing boundaries and raising personal standards. By communicating your needs to the people who really care about you will create an environment that is mutually respectful and free from judgments. People won't need to read your mind and guess what your needs might be. Most people will be more than happy to provide the support you need. Again, we're talking about your true needs here, not manipulating others into getting what you want. The later will not work and you'll have to go back and dig deeper to find your true hidden needs.

Establishing clear, healthy boundaries around your needs will help protect your social, emotional or spiritual essentials those needs represent. However, that is not enough. You also have to raise your personal standards- the behaviors you will hold yourself accountable to in order for your needs to vanish. Your personal standards can be as simple as: always telling the truth, respecting your body, being on time; or more advanced like: avoiding all adrenaline rushes or letting go of people who drain your energy.

Meeting your needs and communicating them with others requires a great deal of respect and accountability. Be ready to experience setbacks and make mistakes. Embrace the challenge, honor yourself and satisfy your needs in a way that brings you deep fulfillment, happiness and joy. Just remember, that others have their own needs and be ready to honor and support their needs as well.

It took me a few years to truly understand, appreciate and honor my needs. I needed to embrace my introverted nature instead of trying too hard to fit in the crowd of extroverted world. I needed alone time- a space to think and solve problems. Deep conversations. Freedom and belonging.

I am finally at the point where I am comfortable with my needs and having them met in a rewarding and satisfying way. I am confident that you can get there too.